Sailor Talk
Sadly, I remember laughing at a routine that comedian George Carlin performed in the 1970’s about foul language. Please don’t look it up. It was funny precisely because it was so shockingly unexpected. In the skit, Carlin rattles off a long list of euphemisms- bad, dirty, filthy, foul, vile, vulgar, coarse, in poor taste, unseemly, street talk, gutter talk, locker room language, barracks talk, bawdy, naughty, saucy, raunchy, rude, crude, lude, lascivious, indecent, profane, obscene, blue, off-color, risqué, suggestive, cursing, cussing, swearing – before revealing, in his opinion, the seven worst examples of this form of speech.
Even more sadly, for a significant period of my life I used many of those same words. “He cusses like a sailor,” a regular companion could have honestly remarked back in the day. And why not, as that is exactly what I was. “Salty language,” is freely used by many “old salts,” as sailors are sometimes called. It was all too easy to believe that normal people spoke that way, and follow suit. My friend Rob once reported that while he was on leave, his teen-aged sisters arrived home after curfew. He reprimanded them with some words that came all too naturally when he suddenly remembered his mother, slapped a hand over his mouth, and sheepishly said, “Sorry, Mom, occupational hazard.” My roommate Boog swears that in the middle of the night I sat bolt upright in bed and cursed a specific man by name, before laying back and resuming my slumber. I believe him. It is interesting to note that we all liked that particular man. We would often attach expletives to our friends’ names just as easily to those we held in disdain. It was a form of male bonding, I suppose.
So What?
Words have power. They have the power to both bless and curse, to build up and tear down. Just as a halftime speech can invigorate and inspire, so a thoughtless, cruel, or even a well-intentioned jesting word can belittle and discourage. What’s really wrong with a little salty or unkind language? As Christians, God has a lot to say to us about the subject. Here is a sampling (emphasis mine).
We are sanctified (set apart for holiness).
- “Sanctify yourselves, then, and be holy; For I, the Lord your God Am holy. Be careful, therefore, to observe my statutes. I, the Lord, make you holy.” -Leviticus 20:7-8.
Our words can get us into trouble.
- “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from trouble.” -Proverbs 21:23.
- “The tongue is like a fire. It exists as a world of malice, defiling the whole body and setting the entire course of our lives on fire.” -James 3:6.
People are watching how we act.
- “Be an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.” -1 Timothy 4:12.
- “Let your speech always be gracious and seasoned with salt” –Colossians 4:6. (note: not that kind of salt!)
Much is expected of disciples of Jesus.
- “Now you must put away anger, fury, malice, slander, and obscene language out of your mouths. Instead put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection.” -Colossians 3:8,12,14.
- “No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, that it may impart grace to those who hear.” -Ephesians 4:29.
- “Be imitators of God and live in love, as Christ loved us. Immorality or impurity must not be named among you; no obscenity, nor foolish talking nor coarse jesting, but rather giving thanks.” -Ephesians 5:3,4.
What we say proves who we are.
- “Every tree is known by its fruit. A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good, but an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil. From the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks.” -Luke 6:44,45
Alternative Cuss Words
Tim Hawkins is one of our favorite contemporary comedians. While it may not have been his intention, his “Alternative Cuss Words” routine answers George Carlin with a hilarious list of words and phrases that express emotion without profanity. “Son of a biscuit!” “Shut the front door!” What the Bob Barker?” Look it up. You may quibble with the appropriateness of some of his suggestions, but there they are to laugh at, shake your head about, or appropriate for yourself as you see fit.
The next time we are angry or frustrated, let’s stop a moment and think about the words we use, profane or not, jesting or not. Do they build up and impart grace? That should be our goal with every human contact, shouldn’t it?
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